Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
look no pants
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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