I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
