Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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