he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize