So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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