You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize