My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
