he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
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