She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
