there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
