addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
