is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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