i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
