PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
