At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
