she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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