i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
