Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
