I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
