Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize