So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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