"it" just moved
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize