Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
