never play flip cup with pint glasses
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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