Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
