He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
