sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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