So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
