We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
