Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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