I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
