You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize