i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize