i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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