I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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