The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
