You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
