i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
