she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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