I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
