My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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