come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize