it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
