come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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