I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
