well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
