dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize