i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize