was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
