Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
it was like eating out sand paper
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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