i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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