yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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