What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Randomize
