I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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