Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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