I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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