Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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