apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
