it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
