hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
