i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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