So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
