i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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