I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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