Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
What drink are we having for lunch?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
