it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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