just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
