I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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