so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
