I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
