he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
