just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize