But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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