wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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