dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
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