Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you will always have a special place in my vag
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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