im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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